Current location:	Rhoose, South Wales
Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	The Works, Queen

Drabbles based upon the Things Xander Is NO LOnger Allowed To DO list

           85) Not allowed to encourage Angel to sing as a form of torture.
85a) Especially 'Mandy'.

            “We’ve tried everything, bamboo shoots under the nails, glass rod up his…” Buffy stuttered to a stop, blushing faintly, “right, electric shocks, plain beatings, I don’t think he’s going to talk,”

            “We need to know where he has hidden Dawnie buff,” Willow commented sadly.

            “I know, I know,”

            “I,” Xander shuddered, “have an idea,”

            “But I sent you away, oh Mandy”

“Stop it, stop it, I’ll talk,” screamed the 1000 pound demon, eyes streaming with tears, his hands pressed desperately against his ears, “please!”

            “I hate you Xander,” Angel grumbled, “perhaps I should finish the song?”

            “No!” Xander responded, alarmed.

98) I cannot organize a "pool" about the species of Buffy's next boyfriend.
98a) Even if Faith wants "a piece of that action."
98b) Or Dawn.
98c) Or Willow.
98d) Or Giles.
98e) Nor can I refer to "human" as the "sucker bet."

            “Place your bets, place your bets here!”

            “Alien,” Andrew grinned, handing over a twenty. Nodding, Xander noted it down into his little black book.

            “Demon,” Willow grinned, handing her money over.

            Giles took Elven, a choice which got a raised eyebrow but no comment from Xander, Kennedy rather nastily choose animal.

            Grinning lecherously, Faith pulled a twenty from between her breasts, handing it to a suddenly nervous Xander, she commented simply, “female,”

            “What are you choosing Dawnie?” Xander asked, noticing her trying to get his attention.

            “Human,” she replied, with a knowing grin.

            Xander snorted, taking the Keys money, “sucker bet,”

            “What’s a sucker bet?”

            Grinning, they turned to face the door where Buffy stood, a tall handsome, human looking figure beside her.

            “Oh right, guys I would like you to meet Duncan McCloud. He’s immortal,”

            Groans filled the room, “all right,” Giles sighed, “who had ‘none of the above?’”

169) I am not 'The Dread Pirate Roberts.'
169a) The slayers are not to be referred to as my 'brute squad.'
169b) Andrew is not a "Rodent of unusual size,' even if Faith agrees with me.
169c) I am not to go into battle with the cry 'My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to Die!'
169d) I cannot tell the new slayers that Buffy dressed as Buttercup that Hallowe'en.

            “All right yea landlubbers, this here is the Dread Pirate Roberts and I’m here to shiver your timbers!”

            The look the said ‘landlubbers’, a rather large group of Polgara demons, sent the eye-patched Scooby was largely disbelieving but there was enough shock in their for twenty Slayers to file unmolested into the room as well.

            “What’s that, yer brute squad?”

            “And one Rodent of Unusual size,” Xander noted as Andrew slipped in, sword in hand.

            Grinning tightly, Andrew raised his saber, “My name is Inigo Montoyo, you killed my father, prepare to die!”

            The ‘brute squad’ took that as their cue.

            “Well that was bracing,” Xander commented as they fled before the approaching sirens.

            “But sad, I mean, come on, all those Princess Bride references?”

            Xander grinned at Kennedy, “You think we’re bad? A certain Slayer we both know dressed up as Buttercup one Halloween…”

            Kennedy blinked, “Buffy? No way!”